Pragmatism

Dealing with an injury is perhaps one of the most debilitating struggles a dancer can face. My muscles remember what they used to be capable of... my body wants so badly to be allowed to do what feels most natural. I miss having the strength, energy, and physical health to be able to do what I love whenever and wherever I want.

After months of doctor's visits, rest, and acupuncture, I've come to the devastating realization that I have to stop auditioning altogether for at least a month. I have to try to figure out what is going on with my back and how to fix it.

Because of the way my health insurance is currently structured, I have no coverage for physical therapy or MRIs or really any medical services out here in New York. I'm one of the lucky ones who found an affordable outlet for treatment out of pocket, but acupuncture alone has not been enough.

The month of March is going to be my last stand to resolve my back pain.

No dance auditions until April 1st. In the mean time, I am taking floor barre several times a week. Wesley at Steps on Broadway is fantastic... she reminds me of everything positive about my dance training.  Equal parts drill sergeant and empathetic, quirky grandmother-like personage, Wesley has helped me slowly, painstakingly strengthen all the muscles that have any influence or relationship to my lower back. It's been enlightening. I've learned completely new approaches to movement, revamped my turn out, even realized that my injuries have probably been caused by the fact that my dance instruction has enabled me to develop some serious bad habits.

My love goes out to a dancer friend who just had an invasive, intense back surgery yesterday. His example is a constant reminder to do everything that I can to take care of myself before drastic action is the only remaining alternative I have.

At 22, I could still have several years of functional dance-ability left...  I have to make a dynamic change now while there is still time and hope for repair. I am determined that this effort will change the tides in my favor. Let's see come April 1st!