Under Construction

As I left my hatha yoga class this afternoon, I took with me the gifts of refreshed awareness, focus on being "present" in this moment in my life, and a renewed love of sunshine. It occurred to me how incredible it was that I could perceive such a marked change my ease of breath after only an hour or so of treating my body with kindness, instead of punishing it (which I usually do).

This glowy yoga bubble was soon punctured by the sounds of jackhammers, the garish bruises of blue and black tarp slathered across building fronts all along my block, and dudes in hard hats bellowing out across sawhorses at each other and smoking on fire escapes.

It was in that moment that I realized that this city, unlike any other place I have lived or visited, thrives on an inescapable sense of being under construction. It's the palpable forward-thinking energy born and bred here. When I first came to New York six years ago, I could not get enough of the city's vibrant pulse and the motivated people who seemed to push life forward by their will alone. Before I knew it, I was catering to that energy and lost in trying to make myself into something bigger, better, and more impressive instead of being okay with who I was from moment to moment.

Being reminded of the benefits of practicing self awareness has completely cemented my decision that it is not only okay to take "rest" days, it is critical to one's mental and physical health. Granted, I only have from when I woke up this morning until 1:45pm today to do exactly what I want to do, as opposed to what I feel I have to do in order to move forward. At 1:45pm, I gear back into the traditional expectation of what life looks like; commitments to follow up on, promises to keep, miles to go before I sleep. Sure, my schedule looks different from the good old 9 to 5, but like most, I have some preparation to do for work, several clients to work with, and if time is on my side, a dance class to sneak in between my last two clients of the day. What I don't want is to wake up one day years from now and be incapable of recognizing myself.

Taking these two years post graduation to pursue dancing and performing - something that feels unapologetically selfish for really the first time in my life - has been rewarding in so many unexpected ways. Though the sassy know-it-all girl is still very much alive and well in some corners of my personality, I have been humbled so thoroughly that I am on my way to becoming a better, kinder, more patient, more understanding person. Of course, like New York, I still have a long way to go before I'm "finished," but somehow the harsh contrast between the very accepting and open practice of yoga and self-care on the backdrop of a very harsh and unforgiving perfection-focused city made me all the more grateful for the luxury of conscious self discovery and self acceptance.

Inspiration from Bruce Lee

When asked about his positive outlook on life, Bruce Lee countered with a question of his own. “Are you going to make your obstacles stepping stones to your dreams, or stumbling blocks because you let negativity control your life?" 

I appreciate that outlook right about now, especially considering it implies I must be pretty close to my dreams, because my amount of obstacles-turned-to-stepping-stones has been steadily increasing over the past few weeks. 

Had the most wonderful surprise of an unexpected visitor from Brazil. When you're lucky enough to find those friends who brighten your entire life just because you have the fortune to be in their presence for a few hours, those are the friends to hold on to for dear life. 

Been pondering many things of late, the frustrations of adapting to an industry that's less a meritocracy than I would have expected, the debilitating educational inequity plaguing our nation, the prevalence of mental illness among the homeless, and the impending holidays.

Fortunately, I'm slowly but surely coming to a place where I understand I can't expect myself to fix every problem I am affected by and have enough energy left over to fix myself. Learning to put myself first on occasion hasn't been easy, but on the days when I manage it it's magical. Today, I've managed to do everything I wanted to do and everything I needed to do, and procured and decorated a Christmas tree with girlfriends to put the icing on the cake.

I'm borrowing the words of a Secret Agent Man when I saw that it's how we deal with diversity that matters. If my conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time, why, then I ought to choose a positive thought. You should too... life is much easier when we focus on improving what could have gone better and being happy with what went well.



In other more exciting news, the holidays are coming!!!

Picture > 1000 words

Motto of the week.

Maybe month.

More to folllow!

The way of things

I used to think that life was about finding answers. In every quote, dance performance, art piece, music composition, novel, relationship, etc., I would find something that resonated with me enough to give me a momentary illusion of resolution. Recently, I've realized that I seem to shift from one pristine, clear moment of acceptance of reality to the next, with gestational periods of unrest, uncertainty, frustration, and dissatisfaction in between.

Of late, I've begun to think that life is really all about asking the right questions. Like any other human being, I have those moments where I worry about my output. I occasionally wonder whether I do anything of significant value. Then I look around me and realize that everyone else feels and wonders the same things, regardless of how socially acceptable and stereotypically impressive their lives may seem to the omniscient observer.

Now that I've gotten to the place where I see inherent camaraderie and consistent patterns in the arc that is human existence, I've found opportunities to refocus my energies and hone my efforts to suit more specific goals. I guess its the main way I find meaning and continuity in what currently feels like a wonderfully diverse, yet draining life style.

In the wee hours of the morning after exhausting multifocal days like this one, poems like this are the most soothing remedies to a racing mind.

On Looking Up By Chance at the Constellations (Robert Frost)

You'll wait a long, long time for anything much
To happen in heaven beyond the floats of cloud
And the Northern Lights that run like tingling nerves.
The sun and moon get crossed, but they never touch,
Nor strike out fire from each other nor crash out loud.
The planets seem to interfere in their curves -
But nothing ever happens, no harm is done.
We may as well go patiently on with our life,
And look elsewhere than to stars and moon and sun
For the shocks and changes we need to keep us sane.
It is true the longest drought will end in rain,
The longest peace in China will end in strife.
Still it wouldn't reward the watcher to stay awake
In hopes of seeing the calm of heaven break
On his particular time and personal sight.
That calm seems certainly safe to last to-night.

Ow + Cold

I cannot remember a time I have been more tired or more sore. Rehearsals and auditions are going well, but my hamstrings are so over utilized I legit had difficulty walking today!

On top of that, it's really just in the 30s, which is not a pleasant temperature place. Not many auditions this week or next, but lots of rehearsal, class time, and tutoring clients.

Keep on keeping on, and remember to keep your birds of a feather close so you can flock together this winter!!

Net Gain from Net-werk

Frustrating as it sometimes is to me, the performing art world is not a meritocracy... even at the very top, it is who you know that helps you more than what you are capable of doing. Don't get me wrong; to even be considered, it is critical to also have the talent and the luck to be in the right place at the right time with the right look and the right people behind the casting table. Being able to spin and werk a net is a skill that has never come naturally to me, but has only now begun to dawn on me as a necessity.



Tonight's blog entry is courtesy of a dear dear friend and fellow performing artist professional (hereby known as R), who saw her netwerking swag pay off in significant and commendable dividends:

A long time ago.... [a few days ago]

In a galaxy far, far away .... [actually the Carlyle hotel is only a few blocks away from this Baby's apartment]

All within the span of 24 New York hours:

***

Lesson 1: Unexpected encouragement and respect


A woman came into the Carlyle yesterday while R was working and they started to chat about this and that. She told R she was from Saudi Arabia, R told her R's brother just went over there for work (in oil). The woman asked which company...R told her Schlumberger and she got very excited about this...Turns out she's on their board. R told her that R was an actress and then the woman began to go on and on about how much she admired actors and how we can do this and that... She introduced herself as Lubna. 

Turns out she is Lubna Olayan... voted by Forbes and Times as one of the world's most influential women. How overwhelming and invigorating that Lubna...with all her experience, business acumen, and prestige, admires people like you and I who struggle in our daily lives to do what we love!

Lesson 2: You never know who knows who you know.


Fast forward. R goes to a watch party (for a new film) later the same day. An actor she worked with, Travone, texted R about some famous fashion photographer's birthday party and picked her up to go with him:

"So I met this photographer and all his friends... And Carson Kressley (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy). As we walked up...guess who we see outside... Johnny Nunez...FAMOUS celebrity photographer who's shot all of the hip hop greats...and who invites is to Ne-Yo's private election watch party dinner. So of course we go. I meet Ne-Yo's fiance Monyetta and her friend from like Basketball wives or some show, and of course I met Ne-Yo who refused my handshake and went in for the hug. [How nice!!] 

I felt so legitimate because I told Monyetta that I had seen her at a private listening party two weeks ago and she said "I thought you looked familiar" (Probably lying but at least she was trying!) We got gift bags of yummy liquor and Ne-Yo's new album and headed back to Astoria where we watched the President's speech and cuddled."

Lesson 3: There is opportunity in every scandalousity

"After 3 hours of sleep I got up and headed to work the next morning. Fully energized mind you, considering the night before. When I get to the Carlyle, I see that the Spa is open (it shouldn't have been), all of the lights are on (not supposed to be), and the women's room is a MESS. There are towels and robes everywhere and a men's undershirt on the floor. I call Security and they tell me they will look into the matter. Shortly after I get a call. "Hi Reanna. The spa was opened around 3:30 this morning for a VIP guest. Mr. Beiber." Jokingly I say, "As in Justin." He said yes. Justin Beiber had decided to not only take over the spa for a shower and a steam...he has decided to do it in the ladies room. I thought I would never stop laughing. Then, shamelessly, I proceeded to the ladies room to take his undershirt out of the trash can. I figured someone would want it. Turns out my cousin's a fan. So I'm gonna frame it. Yay free Christmas present!!!!"

***

In summary, networking is not an easy skill, but regardless of your industry (but especially in the performing arts world), it is a talent worth cultivating, because you never know where it might take you and whom you might meet. 

Even though rehearsal was cancelled for "singer problems," which I imagine is code for diiiivvaaa, I've had a long exhausting day.

Keep your heads up and on to the next one!

Love, 

A Broadway Baby

Post hoc ergo propter hoc

Things along the Eastern seaboard continue to be chaotic post Hurricane Sandy. I have survivor's remorse as I sit working in my apartment with functioning electricity, heat, and gas. You may have noticed that my focus has been somewhat diverted from performing arts of late. I'm slowly but surely trying to return to a baseline level of forward progress in that arena.

Elsewhere in the North East, people are still without homes, food, and warmth. I just learned today that for the first time in history, Doctors without Borders has set up a disaster relief zone within the continental United States to address the needs of those displaced by Hurricane Sandy.

No heat on the Rockaways until Christmas? http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/10/opinion/nocera-no-heat-till-christmas.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20121110

In that context, it feels woefully self aggrandizing to be frustrated that there are hardly any auditions happening because casting companies are also still recuperating and getting their operations back on track.

Out of necessity, I've shifted my focus a bit to skill building (lots of acting and dance class), life-organizing, and maximizing my students' potential. After meaning to do this for a while, I'm finally taking advantage of this Saturday off to lesson plan and bust out my GRE book.

The recent election roller coaster reminded me how much I miss engaging in discourse about issues and ideas that are either important to me or new to me and therefore provide an opportunity to inhale new information. I can't help but feel grad school looming in my near-ish future, especially considering the omnipresent back pain and dearth of intellectual challenge.

In summary, I want to share with you the president's acceptance speech. We need more politicians who believe that "whether you held an Obama sign or a Romney sign, you made a difference, you made your voice heard" and that we can actually work together to move this country forward. Barack Obama believes these things, and I do too. 

No matter your party affiliation or lack thereof, you should watch this speech.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/11/06/us/politics/06-obama-election-night-speech.html?ref=politics

To the President, from little kids who care (courtesy of Teach For America)
http://www.teachforamerica.org/blog/dear-mr-president

I only hope that Speaker Boehner can get over himself long enough to actually work with his president to address the fiscal cliff that a Republican majority Congress has constructed for us. (I unabashedly pronounce his name Boner because I am sometimes immature and I just do not like him very much).

In the meantime, I'll be keeping one foot in the dance world, one foot in the education world. I'll also have my first two fingers on the pulse of national progress, if for no other reason than this little girl holding her mini American flag.

Have a safe and healthy weekend!!

All my love,

A Broadway Baby

25 Reasons from 25 People Voting Obama

25 reasons from 25 people who are voting Obama:


1. "The Affordable Care Act is saving my daughter's life."Stacey, Arizona


2. "Obama is for the vets. He helped us wind down in Iraq, he's improved mental health policy with VA benefits."Joel, Minnesota


3. "Obama stuck his neck out for us, the auto industry. He wasn't going to let it just die, and I'm driving in this morning because of that, because of him."Brian, Ohio


4. "Osama bin Laden is dead, and General Motors is alive."Joe Biden, Delaware


5. "Supreme Court Supreme Court Supreme Court."Andrew, California


6. "Arithmetic."Bill Clinton, New York


7. "He cares for the 100 percent."Shana, Texas


8. "When Obama came into office, he successfully renewed our country's place in the community of nations, making cooperation in tackling the world's challenges possible."Willis, North Carolina


9. "The actions he has taken with respect to protecting us from terrorism have been very, very solid."Colin Powell, Virginia


10. "I was really very grateful to him for standing up for those kids who are having a really rough time out there because of their orientation."Jane Lynch, California


11. "For me, President Obama is our best choice because he has a vision of the United States as a place where we are all in this together."Bruce Springsteen, New Jersey


12. "He has a real plan for rescuing the economy that passes the 'math' test."Teresa, Virginia


13. "Having someone in office who understands how powerful our voice can be is very important."Jay Z, New York

14. "I am voting for Barack Obama and Joe Biden because I can trust them to care for the middle class and restore the American dream."Steven, Florida


15. "The first measure he signed into law after becoming president was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act -- so a female high school counselor or physical education teacher can fight for equal pay for equal work."Connie Britton, California


16. "I believe in the America he wants for my grandchildren."Nancy, Michigan


17. "We need four more years of repair, of helping the middle class achieve a sustainable economy."James Taylor, North Carolina


18. "I've watched him fight for our country, stand by the middle class, the working class, the military, the education of our children, universal health care, women, the environment, and matters of national and domestic security."Susan, Virginia


19. "The gifted 12-year-old I taught, whose parents were deported and left her here with her grandmother, will be allowed to stay and finish her education. She's been in the U.S. since age one."Jamie, North Carolina


20. "I want our president to place scientific evidence and risk management above electoral politics."Michael Bloomberg, New York


21. "I have four children who are under 26 and able to stay on my health care plan. That's been huge."Amy, Pennsylvania


22. "He's fighting to defend and better Social Security and Medicare -- because millions of Latino seniors rely on them."Cristina Saralegui, Florida


23. "Thanks to the President's efforts to keep student loan rates low, I can expect to save nearly $1000 as I work to repay my student loans. And I don't have too many of those, thanks to the Federal Pell Grant program."Sam, Minnesota


24. "It's been wonderful to have President Obama as a champion for access to health care for all women in this country."Cecile Richards, New York


25. "Re-electing Barack Obama would lead to a stronger economic recovery than would be the case were Mitt Romney to win on November 6th."Jared Bernstein, Washington, D.C.

Forward, not Backward

I had to roll my eyes at myself a bit this afternoon, when upon reading my Backstage, I realized of course there would be no casting updates for New York ... you know, given our recent hurricane.

Sometimes the pervasive sense of hustle clouds my logic.

My days feel SO long lately. Today was particularly daunting, rehearsal, a five hour modeling gig, tutoring clients, and the second to last Turandot performance of the season. I'll miss the show... Specialized movement is so much more engaging than what we supernumeraries usually do!

Maintaining motivation is hard some days. I was talking to an actress at this modeling gig, and she laughed at me when I shared that I was only two years out of college and worried I wasn't booking enough work. It's a recession for everyone, and there really are so many mitigating factors that make landing your dream role difficult.

There are only two auditions this week, Footloose in Wisconsin (I really don't want to go to Wisconsin) and an audition for Arizona Broadway Theater, which I really should not have turned down two years ago because they were offering $200 a week. Oy vey... perils of a performing arts life. I plan to go to both on principle, to practice my auditioning craft and hone my somewhat sleepy skill set.

In other news, another Nor-easter is heading our way Wednesday, and a storm of an entirely different kind may crash come Tuesday night.

PLEASE GO VOTE! Your country is depending on you!

Sophia and her dads are counting on you:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-mcgonnigal/obama-responds-to-10-year-olds-heartfelt-letter-about-her-dads_b_2074213.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

My cousin and her pre-existing condition of cancer are counting on you!

Let's go FORWARD, not backward:

http://www.barackobama.com/plans?source=hp-presidents-plan

Savings Time

What a week!

Post hurricane, things slowly, but steadily began to resume functioning as normally as one can expect. The subways are operating at about 80% of their usual efficacy levels, lower Manhattan once again has power, bus schedules are normalizing. Sometime next Monday, I imagine it will start to feel like nothing has changed (at least in Manhattan). By next Tuesday, anyone reading this BETTER have voted!

Dance studios and gyms were closed, auditions were cancelled ... so last week was a bit too much of a break from my usual routine. Most of my parents/clients were wringing their hands at the fact that their kids got a week off of school, so I was tutoring two times as many clients as usual, while most of my friends got at least a five day weekend.

Saw Fuerza Bruta last night; what a kick a*& multi media, multi dimensional performance-dance party hybrid! I'm totally going to see it again before it closes in January 2013.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3aw07wxoCM&feature=relmfu

Now the public transportation has largely righted itself, I have lost my excuse to take cabs all the time in true Carrie Bradshaw a la Sex and the City form... I'll miss it.

Met some FANTASTIC personalities from the passenger seat. On the way between tutoring clients last Wednesday, I met a 60 year old Lebonese man who shared my love of classical music and the end of day relaxation activity of epsom salt bath + glass of red wine. On Thursday, I met a Senegalese man who was shocked that I should be working when everyone else was off, and asked me if I was going to be a millionaire one day (he preferred to be affectionately referred to as "Billionaire Bob." I also met a young Dominican man (only a few years older than me, if that) who was putting himself through college at Fordham University by driving cabs at night.

All in all, last week was a humbling reminder of how much determination and hard work constantly percolate in cities like New York.

As you might imagine, I'm inspired and ready to attack this coming week with renewed zeal. The last two performances of Turandot until January will be Monday and Friday, and I have at least ten clients to prepare for. Couple that with workouts/dance classes/auditions, and I certainly have my work cut out for me.

Sending you light and happiness!

Love,
A Broadway Baby