Looking forward to the Morning Sun

My mood is almost as changeable as the weather has been in NY lately. After a sunny lunch, I find myself looking despondently out my office's substantial loft windows on yet another gray, cloudy, and otherwise disagreeable early evening sky.

There are hungry currents of stress gobbling up the few remaining granules of sanity amongst my coworkers today, and I think more than ever in my life, I am silently pleading the universe that 6pm arrive as quickly as possible.

No one likes a grumpy guss, least of all me. It's decidedly more unpleasant to be living inside one for the day. The little sunny self inside of me is struggling to get out... but today's murky atmosphere and weight of self doubt are smothering it with a sneer.

Ouch, old chums, ouch. I got one of those unequivocal transcontinental hugs from my mother, heart of my heart, and have coffee and dinner dates to buck up for.

Since I still have no voice, here's Billie Holiday to help me see what's really important:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GGutxam8Qc

"I'll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new, I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be seeing you"

When the Lord Closes a Door, Somewhere He Opens a Window

After getting back to work from the Beauty and the Beast dance call, I was in a funk. Even though I felt great dancing in the room and really performed the combination, they didn't keep me beyond the first dance cut.

That hurts, to be honest. In fall of 2010 I got a call back for nearly everything I auditioned for (including this same tour, with the same casting team). I would waste time wondering if I was dancing too carefully because of my back, or whether it's my own fault for not making time to print out a new head shot (I stupidly thought it would be ok to give them a serious, older picture since my face in person would look so happy).

But that won't make me feel any better.

It's hard not to get frustrated when the going is rough like this. Positivity and moving forward are key to dealing with this business. I know that. But even as I know that, I LOVE Beauty and the Beast,  so I couldn't help but grieve a bit as I walked through the beautiful New York sunshine in Chelsea.

Anticipating a rather glum day of office work, imagine my surprise to open my email and find this callback notice:

I would like to thank you for auditioning for Don Giovanni at The Met.  Michael Grandage (!!!) asked me to schedule a select number from the first audition to attend a callback with the choreographer, Ben Wright.  

Eeep! One of the lovely messenger center men left chocolate at my desk, I have an ice cold face mask thingy on my back, I'm full of yummy healthy foods. Things are looking up REAL quick.

Climbing every mountain,

A Broadway Baby

Things to Love

Every now and then you get a GREAT audition room, warm, friendly, nice, encouraging, clearly invested and want you to succeed. Who knew that a casting company for non-equity tour engines like Beauty and the Beast would be that kind of team?

Even though I went to bed on Monday sounding like Betty Boop and woke up this morning as a regular Kathleen Turner/Lauren Bacall, I've still got those clutch belty character songs, and I am going to dance tomorrow!

Also, you have to love a job in which you get free jeans, have a lovely company Spring Fling party in the West Village, speak with Oprah's producer, get free makeup, assist the H&M team with PR, speak to an MTV's Real Housewife of New Jersey, and get an inner thigh and calf workout from a miraculous chair from one of your company's clients - all within 24 hours.

I'm a lucky ducky with lots of things (and people!) to love.

Hugs,
A Broadway Baby

Fast Blast of Motivation

and a 5 ... 6 ... 7 ... 8!

Another Monday, another lunch audition!

Baayork Lee is in town again with A Chorus Line, except this time it's an international tour going to Tokyo. While I wasn't sold on the prudence of the first tour location, it's A Chorus Line!! No dancer can pass up on the opportunity to audition for that show, especially in front of the original Connie.

There's also nothing like the opening dance combination from A Chorus Line to perk up your case of  monotonous Mondays. Baayork is fantastic and runs the audition as a cross between a peppy head cheerleader and an intimidatingly burly drill sergeant. (Keep in mind she's actually tiny, but it's her voice and effervescent personality that make up the difference). It's like the most inspiring, epic dance boot camp you can possibly imagine.

You feel like you're in the show the minute you enter the room. And you don't ever want to leave again.

Baayork has us form 10 columns of four, and she teaches the choreography one line at a time, two eight counts per line. Once you've been out in front, you split down the middle and run off to the sides for the next line of ten. It's all business, you MUST go in with your wits about you or you won't have a snowball's chance in H E double hockey sticks.

Once she's finished teaching, the clapping begins. At Baayork and the choreographer's insistence ("Contracts are ON the table, the producer is IN the ROOM!") we all clap for each other, on beat with the music, the entire time that dancers are doing the combination.

Baayork occasionally shouts "you gotta eat nails (grrr)" if we're not going hard enough.We yell out the counts (in SIXES, not eights), then we alternate to LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT for the eight count where the footwork gets tricky.

At the very end of the call, my head shot got misplaced. When they asked if that was everyone, I raised my hand to say they hadn't called me. The assistant choreographer shouted out "What's your name? Do you know your number?" I said my name and number, and then he laughed once he saw me saying, "Oh, there's your Judy Turner" (she's the quirky, bubbly talkative tall girl in the show; I'd most likely get cast on her character track). If only they actually needed a Judy. It was clear from who they kept to dance again that the tall-girl dance tracks had been filled. No matter, I danced my heart out and I'll be even better next time I go in.

The entire experience is like a dream. No, like the best of dreams; so poignant and beautifully real that you can't bear to wake up. And you don't wake up, not until the casting team is clapping for you, thanking you, and saying goodbye. I'll be back. I'll soak up the hyper-reality of this dance world, and keep going strong for however long it takes to get the chance to do what I love most.

We did what we had to do, can't regret, won't regret what I did for love!

Your Broadway Baby

Smile

A beautiful dimension of the information age is the ability to stumble, by chance, upon a dance or piece of music long forgotten. When you find songs like Smile again, it is like running into the waiting embrace of an old friend, a unique kind of warmth that cloaks amorphous feelings in absolute truth. This particular orchestration of Smile, by Nat King Cole, makes bearable the moments when my own words and movement seem out of reach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3bZU0CMdkE&feature=related

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Who's the Fairest of Them All?

This morning I awoke to the refreshing buzz of my Crackberry companion, which proceeded to deliver one of the most lovely morning messages in recent memory.

Legs #2, a gorgeous blond dance friend from Columbia, texted at 7am with an offer to sign me up for the My Fair Lady principals and singers call. What a lark! What a plunge! I had been privately lamenting that I wouldn't be able to go in for the singer call today since I have to ration my auditions within my new "full-time" work schedule. Because the universe continues to create and support people who are lovely inside and out like Legs #2, I was once again able to get in and out and back to work within the confines of my lunch hour. (But juuuuust barely).

At 12pm, I blazed into Nola Studios, did one of those miracle speed-costume changes that dancers are famous for (in the crowded, narrow hallway no less). I spent about 10 minutes curling the particularly heinous sections of hair in my windblown coif, and managed to liaise with new friends (loving the Julliard opera representation at auditions lately!!). Within fifteen minutes, I was in my place in line, chatting up the adorable Irish man to my right and his giant friend, who was contemplating a stage name change to Rumpelstiltskin (doesn't quite run off the tongue like Madonna, but catchy nonetheless, I think).

In front of one of the largest audition panels I've seen in a while (7 people at the casting table), I brought out an oldie but goodie and belted "Stepsisters' Lament" from R&H's Cinderella. The monitor said they wanted to see character in the room today and boy did I give it to them! I also feel compelled to give a shout out for yet another benefit of challenging life experiences. Often I have found that people who are not so awesome to you in life provide EXCELLENT fodder to focus emotions on when you're singing.

Luckily for me, I've come across some real winners in my five years in New York, and I think my acting choices are becoming better honed and more specific as a result! For the first time ever I got some real laughs during my 16 bar cut. So gratifying and exhilarating! Memo to self: remember the fun.

Anyyyway, now I'm back at my work desk ... and it's as though I've been here all along. A canny observer might notice that I'm slightly more put together than I was when I came in this morning. Mostly, I think I'm getting away with my sneaky artistic espionage.

I'll leave you with some famous last words from the incomparable Rex Harrison. One of my favorite scenes from My Fair Lady... if only people were still writing music like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6sb-vOFqCU

Just a Little Less ZOMBIE...

Bring on the death-loving vaudeville! Today I managed to get over to Pearl Studios and audition for the Addams Family ensemble dance cast (gaaaah, Bebe Neuwirth ... ::pantsighdrool::)

*** Shameless friend plug: I am compelled to reemphasize that networking, as in so many industries, is often the determining factor in showbizz. I would not have been able to make it today, without my wonderful, beautiful, talented, and selfless friends. While I was underground in a squashed subway on my way to work this morning, my unparalleled and fantastically leggy namesake signed my name up on the non-union list. She's so awesome, thank you, Universe! ***

Taxi speeding, wind whipping through my precariously placed hair, road jostling as I rushed to change my clothes in the backseat.... today definitely felt like a singularly New York I-am-a-dancer and my-life-is-a-bit-mad moment.

Before most girls around me could do a deep lunge stretch, I was all the way out of my work clothes into a leotard and salsa dress, complete with red lips and pinched cheeks (no time for stage blush!!)

They brought 60 of us into the room at once (itty bitty dancing space!). The casting team are good sports, really, because they certainly did not have to see us. Due to union rules, no one is obliged to let non union dancers dance. And yet, the choreographer did so on principal. Of course, in response, we LOVE her.

Miraculously, I managed to get there and back again within the 45 minutes of time allotted for my lunch break from L+F. Back here in Chelsea, breathing normally at my desk, I can hardly believe the blur of extreme activity and emotion that exploded from me this morning. Now I'm happy, calm, and ready to take ballet tonight. Auditioning when approached with the right attitude and the best company - thanks, Legs - is some of the most phenomenal therapy out there.

Hugs, kisses, and a little le jazz hot,

A Broadway Baby

You Don't Have a True Swayback

...."You just have a tiny waist and surprisingly ample lower half. We'll work through it."

Hahah thanks Brian Carey Chung. Gotta love dance teacher euphemisms for discussing body shapes :)

Tomorrow is a callback for Foodplay Tour (I have to juggle balls for these people? What?) and the Addams Family tour audition... let's see if no one notices my extended lunch break at work tomorrow.

          Eeep!

And to end the night on a fantabulous note, here's my new favorite jam. MMMM Kanye and his autotune:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08sN188iX0

The Waiting Game

Broadway auditions, unlike traditional job interviews, involve a nearly absurd amount of down time - both before and during the audition process, as well as after you've given your all. Then you wait .... for who knows how long ...  to see if the casting directors will make up their minds for or against you.

Yesterday I went back to dance for the Cats National Tour. I arrived at around 7am to sign up for the 10am call, then had breakfast, printed some resumes, ran up and down the stairs a few times, and gave myself a ballet barre/intense yoga warm-up until go time.

 --- If ever you're in Pearl Studios when Cats is auditioning new dancers, don't let the cute pictures of different cats all over the holding room fool you, this audition is SERIOUS ---

Cats is one of those rare and wonderful opportunities for a dancer's dancer, because it is one of the most challenging shows, choreography-wise, in production today. As such, one must have substantial confidence in one's technique to even show up at this audition. Extreme athletic ability and specificity of movement are crucial to the fluidity and awe factor of the show... and the audition experience is both intimidating and grueling.

The dance call started right at 10am. They must have known exactly what they were looking for this time, because there was NO playing around. Richard [Stafford, Cats' Director/Choreographer] got right to the hard stuff. His old associate Susan used to love to give a first round of choreography, which eased the dancers into the day and was evidently designed to allow the dancers to showcase their acting skills.

The new associate Josh, a hard wall of dance muscle with none of Susan's warmth and charm, made it clear that the quality of this audition would be different from what some of us were used to.

Indeed, after the first three movements of Richard's choreography (pulled from the show's production number for Jellicle Ball), I not only watched but FELT fear jettison into half the dancers in the room. The two men taught the four counts of eight in no more than 5 minutes. Then they broke us up into two groups, had us do the piece by ourselves, gave some quick corrections and formed us into small groups to begin the audition, with scarcely any time left over to breathe!

I love and LIVE for these kinds of auditions. Richard really separates the cats from the kittens, if you know what I mean. There was such a palpable current of tension in the room that I couldn't help but feed off of it. They wanted intensity, joy, sex, and specificity - so you best BELIEVE I gave it to them.

....And it felt soooo good. I danced that choreography to the best of my ability, literally oozing with every luxurious catlike ounce of character I could muster. In a step toward the direction of true success, I was genuinely happy with my performance alone. In regards to the job... we'll see what happens. I should hear by Friday, one way or another.

And now the waiting really begins...

**For anyone going to the Cats call in the future, I also remembered the rogue term that Richard used last year to describe what he most wanted to see from us: starkness. He repeatedly emphasizes the importance of stark movement. I've never heard that term applied to dance before, but listening to feedback like this and incorporating it into your movement is key to demonstrating to directors that you pay attention and can work well. Send that to the brain bank!


Purrrrr,

A Broadway Baby

For he's a fiend in feline shape...

Raced the sun today to see who would rise from their slumber first. The sun lost.

It's a disquieting feeling to be walking around Herald Square at 5:30am, because it's probably one of the only times that the city is almost completely devoid of noise and commotion. All was so still that I could hear the leaves of newspaper as they brushed across the asphalt on the morning wind.

I thought I was pretty early to the CATS Singing audition this morning, but there were definitely thirty people ahead of me already on the list by 6am. Can't complain though - it's  a vast improvement from last week's South Pacific call! I traipsed into the South Pac singing call (which was ladies only, as opposed to today's coed line-up) at 7:30am. Silly me to think that arriving before 8am for an 11am call was a reasonable decision... Hilarity ensued when I signed up to find that I would be #328 that day(!!!).

Though today's accompanist was uncharacteristically late - an entire hour late, actually - the call was otherwise seamless. I got to watch the sun come up through 12th story windows, and then sang my heart out to Macavity from the Cats score.

My dream role is the brassy belter, Bombalurina, who saunters in around 2:32 on this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV6e65konHs

Going back tomorrow to dance. Fingers crossed!!!

Hugs,

A Broadway Baby

What Constitutes Success?

Yesterday one of my SAT students made my day when I watched math light bulbs go off over her head. She schooled me in simple gratitude with a smile and the offer of a piece of gum.

Last week, I noticed that one of my other students had stopped taking her practice test after 2 of the 10 sections. So after all the other students left yesterday, she and I talked about why she stopped working on her test. At first, she shrugged and said she wasn't sure. When I pressed she said that she was tired of being told she can't do things all the time. Her teachers apparently always tell her that she is a failure. She, like so many students in the faltering public school system these days, has become accustomed to a culture of defeat and hopelessness as she swallows one let down after another.

It broke my heart to see the shame and disillusionment in her downcast expression as she fiddled with the angel wing she always wears around her neck. Then I asked her, is it easier to guess or just not do the work, then you know that if you fail it's not your fault? She said "yeah, I guess."

After a beat, I told her that being in class is half the battle.  The next step is a willingness to do the work. I asked her if she'd be willing to do the work to edit her essay before the next class, and she said yes. I swear she walked a little taller as she left the room.

The most surprising part of that whole interaction was my own lightbulb... that I too need to be as patient, if not more patient than I ask my students to be. I too need to take obstacles and failures in stride and retain my willingness to do the work. I can't expect a role on Broadway to just fall in my lap. I have to consistently do the best that I can do, and be satisfied with knowing that I've acted my song or danced a combination to the best of my ability.

After watching the Wedding Singer and the Columbia Ballet Collaborative at my alma mater the night before, all I wanted to do today was feel graceful and powerful... like I was a good dancer again. Instead, I got frustrated in ballet today, because my body just won't do what I wanted it to. What I know that it can do. My dance teacher noticed and pulled me aside to get me to let go of all the frustration because it was manifesting as physical tension and distorting the line/ease of my dancing.  My searing desire to be good was actually inhibiting my ability to progress.

The combination of my kids' bravery in the face of their own disappointments and the intuition of my ballet teacher helped me realize that my desire to be competitive - to be the best - is getting in the way of me being able to do my best.

This new awareness paves the way for next week's Cats auditions! I'm going to bed suuuuper early to wake up for tomorrow's singing call at around 4am.  Yes, I want this job, I know I would be GREAT in this tour. But more importantly, I know that I have to make next week a time for me focus on doing the best that I am capable of doing, and to be happy with that true success, even if I don't get the job.

I'll leave you with my inspiration for the difference between "winning" and "true success," courtesy of Coach Wooden on TED Talks.... (stumbleupon & perezhilton ain't got nothin on TED Talks' superior platform for procrastination)


http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Cheers to being your best, instead of being better than someone else's.


Love,

A Broadway Baby

A Remarkably Succinct Visual

Reposted from a good friend's HILarious blog:

http://skinny-matters.tumblr.com

South Pacific Callbacks - Fourth Installment

Expect the unexpected.

I sort of forgot this critical musical theatre mantra after having so many seamless experiences at equity (union) calls for Broadway shows. Today is the fourth day I have gone to Pearl Studios for South Pacific calls/callbacks. After four days, and a composite 9 hours of waiting, I was seen for about 20 seconds.

Long story short, nothing ran the way it was supposed to. Monitors were apologetic, girls were cranky, boys were jittery and in general everyone - including the casting team - was completely confused and distracted by the fact that there were three auditions going on at once.

This is one of those situations were keeping your wits about you is everything. and WHOMP whomp I certainly lost focus after having the casting director and producer walk in and out of the room as I was singing. Blergh.

Lesson of the day: remember to act the beJESUS out of your song, despite the catastrophe surrounding you.

The show must go on!


A Broadway Baby

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!

After a few sneak peeks at decent weather in New York, it's beginning to look a lot like springtime! In the interest of encouraging the season, here's a lovely swing tribute from my favorite tap teacher:

http://www.flixxy.com/jive-aces-bring-me-sunshine.htm

Today is the day of callbacks, Tarzan auditions, barely making it into work on time, and embracing the memory of sun. Off to sing for Dave Clemmons  in just a few minutes!

Have a lovely day everyone!

Baby got BACK

Ballet every day for the past two weeks and I am BACK in the game!

Who knew that all it took was to be able to identify the obstacle. Once I could recognize it, overcoming the obstacle became so much more fantastic.

I have SO much love radiating from my being right now for the wonderful people who gifted me a dinner at the Salumeria, for the gorgeous man in my life, and for the music in my heart that never stops.

Lots of love,

A Broadway Baby