Today was the open (aka non union) audition for a new headed-to-Broadway workshop about the life of Liberace, aptly named "All That Glitters." I was SO excited! I had done my research, I had an equity insider friend who told me all about the union dancer's audition that she had gone to last week, I prepped a (sexy showgirly) dance outfit, I knew what I would sing if asked, and I even brushed up on period hair dos by checking out youtube videos.
Every performer, and I think perhaps every person, can make an equitable estimation of their skills. Along those lines, I felt confident that I was definitely cast-able for this show (one of the singer roles is a Catholic brunette, the other is a boozy lounge waitress... I have experience as both...)
I get in the room (the actual dance combination was remarkably easy), I strut my stuff, take in all character notes and acting suggestions that the choreographer makes. Then they line us up in the usual groups of four dancers, staggered in two windows (two in front, two in back), and I realize that I'm standing in an area of almost no visibility to the casting crew.
They don't even see me; I know it. I'm not surprised, but certainly still disappointed when I am not asked to stay and sing.
It's been a rough few weeks, and I had started to withdraw, feel restless, feel frustrated, and want to give up. First time in months that I've had such strong, palpable doubts.
After feeling so unwanted, feeling so untalented that I could not make myself stand out, the last thing I wanted to do was go and take class. Because that's what I didn't WANT to do, that's exactly what I DID. And I loved every minute of both classes I took.
Discipline pays off. Rest and allowing one's natural emotions to have a healthy outlet also pays off, but I've been doing that enough lately.
So, I'm turning over a new leaf and I think I like the way the flip side looks. Back to discipline for my future!
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