Though I decided out of prudence and minor poverty not to go again to the Mary Poppins audition today (and work instead), I have had the rare opportunity to be an objective observer of the two possible outcomes that the auditioning experience may yield.
Two of my closest dancer friends attended Mary Poppins today. As of this morning, both were not certain if they would attend, both are incredibly talented and arguably in the same "type", yet one was kept and the other was not.
Sometimes I wonder if there is more to life than chaos theory... perhaps the universe subjectively doles out life rewards to those in need? One friend is astonishingly talented and has already booked jobs that are the envy of most dancers in the professional field. She is beyond deserving of accolades not only as a dancer but a scientist and an all around impressive human being. Yet lately she's been in a funk (the universe owes her better than what it's currently doling out, in my opinion), and she was cut at her audition today. Is this a freak casting misstep, or some grander scheme supporting her graduate school considerations?
The other has never danced on a tour or a show and often experiences feelings of frustration that bring her to the brink of wanting to give up altogether. Yet she just booked a job a month ago and was kept through to the end of Mary Poppins today. Was this because she is any more talented than dancer friend #1? Absolutely not. Whether this can be of consequence or not is controvertible, but dancer friend #2 received some awful, awful news a day before... news that would keep dancers of lesser discipline in bed and away from auditions. To Dancer friend #2's credit, she got up and went anyway. I can't help but feel like the cosmos halted for the most miniscule of milliseconds to shine a bright light on her in the interest of turning her day around.
Perhaps my friend, dancer #1, will be doused in the light of future prospects when she least expects it.
Auditions are never fair, and there seems a complete absence of method to the madness. Yet I acknowledge that the decision to actively accept starving-artist-status is not particularly sane...
In the context of those two realities, I am compelled to draw a grander parallel to the life of any person striving beyond the status quo to attain their own version of brilliance. There is so much that we cannot know, so many questions that - even once resolved - somehow give birth to a wealth of other questions that keep any sense of finality and security quite obstinately out of reach.
All over the Kaplan office, people have those Keep Calm and Carry On mugs adorned with the image of a crown. I've never noticed them before. Morale booster for England in WWII back then, morale booster for it's offspring today.
Despite reason, injury, upset, and the utter lack of fairness or control in life, my surroundings have provided the necessary reminder: soldier on, old girl, soldier on.
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