No Need to wait for the New Year!

The week in review:

Monday:
Wake up, go to gym to take spin class, audition for Disney cruise lines, super healthy lunch, work a modeling gig, tutor two tiny humans, return home, super healthy dinner, fall dead asleep.

Tuesday:
Wake up at 6am to go to gym for morning Pilates and yoga, go back in for Disney cruise lines (always a jolly joy this time of year... sarcasm aside the people running the call seem quite genuinely kind and more importantly - thoroughly on top of it), eat salad, tutor two tiny humans, make lentil dish, 7pm call time at Met Opera for Don Giovanni, field distress call from one slightly less tiny human whose shameful college counselor made him think he is not good enough to get into the colleges he has applied to (this young man happens to be one of the brightest PEOPLE not to mention 17 year olds I've ever met... what is WRONG with some educational professionals?) return home,  fall dead asleep.

Wednesday:
Struggle out of bed, dance for Jersey Boys on Broadway, sing for Zorro (coming to Broadway), come back to dance for Zorro, smack my quads so intensely during the epic flamenco number that I break blood vessels, sing for Zorro again, eat pasta with asparagus and sausage, tutor one tiny human, wrap some Christmas presents, eat salad, have sleep over with the lovely Reanna Wilborn.

Thursday:
Wake up at 6am to escort the lovely Reanna Wilborn to her illustrious personal training position at the Carlyle hotel, go to gym for morning Pilates and yoga, go back to Disney to dance, healthy lunch, go to Trader Joes for groceries, tutor two tiny humans, have Shake Shack dinner with last family of the evening (not so healthy), get home early, go to sleep at 10pm like an old lady.

Friday:
Wake up well rested for the first time all week, banana, get DESTROYED in a work out session with my new trainer, go back to Trader Joes because I need stuff to bake holiday stuffs for my tutoring clients, tutor two tiny humans, have holiday date night at Danji (mmm Korean) with Anna, and end the night with fond, knowing glances toward starry eyed tourists at the Rockefeller Tree, and genuine awe at the INCREDIBLE De Beers window lights and Bergdorf Follies holiday window displays on Fifth Avenue.

Fabulous darling look at all the feathers!

Saturday:
Sleep four hours before seeing a matinee of the Hobbit (not to be viewed sans slight buzz, I didn't and wiiiiish I did), brunch with fwend at my favorite spot in West Village, napped briefly, went to the Met for call time at 7pm, just now steamed, stretched and semi hobble-hopped into bed. Of course I can't sleep yet with all the adrenaline and chocolate truffles in my system.

In summary:
Instead of waiting for life to happen, I'm happening to life.  Resolutions of 2013! Hyper healthy weekdays where I work out every day and eat well consistency, Substances-allowed Saturdays, and Sleeping in Sundays are definitely presenting some yields already.

Lastly, it's been a grim week news-wise, so I'm borrowing this happy maker from my friend Jon:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/moments-that-restored-our-faith-in-humanity-this-y

Here's one of my favorites:

You can watch the full story here.

Grown A** Acting

Okay so I'm copy-pasting the below article from Backstage, courtesy of acting teacher Craig Wallace because I think it's fabulous advice that's useful even beyond the realm of performing. When I was still a lowly undergrad at Columbia, I wrote my neuropsych/English thesis on research that demonstrates the value of daily reflections in written form. Catharsis turned productive has the same cognitive benefits associated with therapy and other self-reflective yet contained activities.

People don't facilitate lasting improvement through self-punishment!

Hope you find this valuable! 

***

A winning audition requires you to be great at a number of jobs. It’s like making a movie, and you’re the entire cast and crew. You need to be a good actor, obviously. You also need to be a wise and insightful director during your preparation and a charming, charismatic producer in the room. Oh, and one more thing, you’re going to need to be your own best friend when the whole thing is over. This last step of friendship and taking care of yourself is many times the most important; it’s what enables you to learn from and then let go of the audition. Too often I will hear students obsessively rehashing auditions they had weeks and sometimes months ago, all because they didn’t take the time to sit down right after their audition and go over their experience. They didn’t take a moment to pat themselves on the back or lick their wounds. They missed the chance to learn their lessons while they were still fresh, and now they’re living with the consequences. They’re stuck wondering why they didn’t get the job; trying to remember the exact tone of the “thank you” from the casting director; and generally spinning webs of neurotic scenarios that usually have nothing to do with what actually happened.

Over time this can get really toxic because without closure, on many levels the audition is still happening and it’s getting bigger and bigger. This one little audition is now taking on a disproportionate significance and carrying an emotional weight that can wreak havoc on the actor’s psyche, their confidence, and, you guessed it, their next audition. Here’s a very simple suggestion for how take good care of yourself after an audition: Keep a notebook just for your auditions. Have it with you at the audition, and when it’s over, find a quiet place to reflect on and examine the experience you just had. Do this right away, while you are still in the mental space of the audition. It’s also important to be specific, so write down everything: how you felt in the waiting room; how you entered the room; your opening beat; how you listened; your commitment to choice; your closing beat; how you handled adjustments; and finally how you exited the room.

Be honest about what went well and why, and what could have gone better and why. Be firm, gentle, and complimentary as needed. Treat yourself as you would a best friend, remembering that no one has ever improved through self-punishment. When you’re done, close the book. That audition is finished, and you’ve taken the time to learn the lessons it had to teach you. Now, you can let it go. Open the notebook up again when you have your next audition. Use the lessons from your past experiences to guide you in your preparation

After just a few entries, you’ll start to see patterns, both positive and negative, and you’ll be able to prepare for different rooms and different projects with greater specificity and clarity.

By writing and then closing the book on each audition as it happens, you make it easier to let go and move forward with ease and ever growing confidence. You're free to write the next chapter of your career, unencumbered by emotional baggage and rich in learned experience.

Craig Wallace is the creator and award-winning teacher of The Wallace Audition Technique, an audition preparation system that he developed based on his years of experience as a studio executive, talent agent and casting consultant. In his 14 years of teaching, he has seen the careers of hundreds of his students take off. He is also the author of the best-selling book, “The Best of You – Winning Auditions Your Way.”

Craig is currently teaching his audition technique classes and his Meditation for Actors classes in Santa Monica, CA. For more information visit www.wallaceauditiontechnique.com.

Seven Client Sunday

Welp. I've finally made it home at half past midnight, after having back to back clients since 10am. I'm endlessly grateful for this atypical way of making income, though the pace of today was a wee bit draining.

There is an equity audition for Guys and Dolls in Michigan this spring. I'm feeling a bit blah about the lack of nonequity/open calls, and a bit over the audition scene in general, so I may just decide to actually sleep in tomorrow, for once.

It's about that time of the year when evening comes so quickly, and the combination of cold weather and distant family makes me yearn for warmer, friendlier, Southern California shores. Soon enough. A little less than three weeks and I'm home.

Better get to that holiday shopping!

Under Construction

As I left my hatha yoga class this afternoon, I took with me the gifts of refreshed awareness, focus on being "present" in this moment in my life, and a renewed love of sunshine. It occurred to me how incredible it was that I could perceive such a marked change my ease of breath after only an hour or so of treating my body with kindness, instead of punishing it (which I usually do).

This glowy yoga bubble was soon punctured by the sounds of jackhammers, the garish bruises of blue and black tarp slathered across building fronts all along my block, and dudes in hard hats bellowing out across sawhorses at each other and smoking on fire escapes.

It was in that moment that I realized that this city, unlike any other place I have lived or visited, thrives on an inescapable sense of being under construction. It's the palpable forward-thinking energy born and bred here. When I first came to New York six years ago, I could not get enough of the city's vibrant pulse and the motivated people who seemed to push life forward by their will alone. Before I knew it, I was catering to that energy and lost in trying to make myself into something bigger, better, and more impressive instead of being okay with who I was from moment to moment.

Being reminded of the benefits of practicing self awareness has completely cemented my decision that it is not only okay to take "rest" days, it is critical to one's mental and physical health. Granted, I only have from when I woke up this morning until 1:45pm today to do exactly what I want to do, as opposed to what I feel I have to do in order to move forward. At 1:45pm, I gear back into the traditional expectation of what life looks like; commitments to follow up on, promises to keep, miles to go before I sleep. Sure, my schedule looks different from the good old 9 to 5, but like most, I have some preparation to do for work, several clients to work with, and if time is on my side, a dance class to sneak in between my last two clients of the day. What I don't want is to wake up one day years from now and be incapable of recognizing myself.

Taking these two years post graduation to pursue dancing and performing - something that feels unapologetically selfish for really the first time in my life - has been rewarding in so many unexpected ways. Though the sassy know-it-all girl is still very much alive and well in some corners of my personality, I have been humbled so thoroughly that I am on my way to becoming a better, kinder, more patient, more understanding person. Of course, like New York, I still have a long way to go before I'm "finished," but somehow the harsh contrast between the very accepting and open practice of yoga and self-care on the backdrop of a very harsh and unforgiving perfection-focused city made me all the more grateful for the luxury of conscious self discovery and self acceptance.

Inspiration from Bruce Lee

When asked about his positive outlook on life, Bruce Lee countered with a question of his own. “Are you going to make your obstacles stepping stones to your dreams, or stumbling blocks because you let negativity control your life?" 

I appreciate that outlook right about now, especially considering it implies I must be pretty close to my dreams, because my amount of obstacles-turned-to-stepping-stones has been steadily increasing over the past few weeks. 

Had the most wonderful surprise of an unexpected visitor from Brazil. When you're lucky enough to find those friends who brighten your entire life just because you have the fortune to be in their presence for a few hours, those are the friends to hold on to for dear life. 

Been pondering many things of late, the frustrations of adapting to an industry that's less a meritocracy than I would have expected, the debilitating educational inequity plaguing our nation, the prevalence of mental illness among the homeless, and the impending holidays.

Fortunately, I'm slowly but surely coming to a place where I understand I can't expect myself to fix every problem I am affected by and have enough energy left over to fix myself. Learning to put myself first on occasion hasn't been easy, but on the days when I manage it it's magical. Today, I've managed to do everything I wanted to do and everything I needed to do, and procured and decorated a Christmas tree with girlfriends to put the icing on the cake.

I'm borrowing the words of a Secret Agent Man when I saw that it's how we deal with diversity that matters. If my conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time, why, then I ought to choose a positive thought. You should too... life is much easier when we focus on improving what could have gone better and being happy with what went well.



In other more exciting news, the holidays are coming!!!

Picture > 1000 words

Motto of the week.

Maybe month.

More to folllow!

The way of things

I used to think that life was about finding answers. In every quote, dance performance, art piece, music composition, novel, relationship, etc., I would find something that resonated with me enough to give me a momentary illusion of resolution. Recently, I've realized that I seem to shift from one pristine, clear moment of acceptance of reality to the next, with gestational periods of unrest, uncertainty, frustration, and dissatisfaction in between.

Of late, I've begun to think that life is really all about asking the right questions. Like any other human being, I have those moments where I worry about my output. I occasionally wonder whether I do anything of significant value. Then I look around me and realize that everyone else feels and wonders the same things, regardless of how socially acceptable and stereotypically impressive their lives may seem to the omniscient observer.

Now that I've gotten to the place where I see inherent camaraderie and consistent patterns in the arc that is human existence, I've found opportunities to refocus my energies and hone my efforts to suit more specific goals. I guess its the main way I find meaning and continuity in what currently feels like a wonderfully diverse, yet draining life style.

In the wee hours of the morning after exhausting multifocal days like this one, poems like this are the most soothing remedies to a racing mind.

On Looking Up By Chance at the Constellations (Robert Frost)

You'll wait a long, long time for anything much
To happen in heaven beyond the floats of cloud
And the Northern Lights that run like tingling nerves.
The sun and moon get crossed, but they never touch,
Nor strike out fire from each other nor crash out loud.
The planets seem to interfere in their curves -
But nothing ever happens, no harm is done.
We may as well go patiently on with our life,
And look elsewhere than to stars and moon and sun
For the shocks and changes we need to keep us sane.
It is true the longest drought will end in rain,
The longest peace in China will end in strife.
Still it wouldn't reward the watcher to stay awake
In hopes of seeing the calm of heaven break
On his particular time and personal sight.
That calm seems certainly safe to last to-night.