Full Speed Ahead

I'm too young to be taking these long, world-weary sighs.

Being unaffected and bulldozing through an experience is not strength. Being defeated, being made to feel small, failing, but still moving foward... THAT is strength.

There was a Chicago audition this morning, but like many of the other auditions I have attempted to attend since returning from Africa, they chose not to see Non-Equity.

Instead, I took an acting class from Bronwen Carson at BDC, and tried to focus on moving forward, despite being frustrated with what I perceive as a lack of progress in my performing endeavors. The above bits of wisdom were gleaned from that class.

I like being vulnerable, because sometimes it helps others commiserate, I like being open and sharing something wonderful, because sometimes it helps others feel some kind of wonderful as well. I just wish it didn't seem like it was so hard to do this thing that I like! I know that this industry is all about playing the game and staying positive throughout. I know that. Still. Inevitably, the whole business just gets to a girl!

This afternoon, I went to an audition for Miracle on 34th St, directed by Richard Stafford. I've auditioned for him a few times before for other productions and have made it to final callbacks, so imagine my chagrin to be turned away at today's audition because ... big surprise... there wasn't enough time to see non-union singer/dancers.

Counting my lucky stars to have friends and family around to encourage me to keep going, especially because I know that not everyone has people like my people to prop them up when they are feeling down. Maybe some day I'll be able to prop myself up on my own all the time... but until then...
Ah well... full speed ahead to more class and more auditions tomorrow!

You are getting veeewwwyy sweeeppyy

Some days I feel like the fallen star in this sad little stick figure picture. Doesn't he look so sleepy? MAN I am exhausted. Maybe today I feel more like my once multi dimensional dreams seem to have fallen a bit flat. Or at least fallen by the way side while I tutor my little tuchus off.

Saturday... Saturday. Just saying the name of the day out loud feels glorious. Day off, you are so close and yet so far!

Auditioned for Thoroughly Modern Millie in Paper Mill (New Jersey) on Tuesday, heading back Friday afternoon to dance. Tomorrow it's off to Tuck Everlasting... the tour (I think it could be pretty rogue, but I'll see what they're looking for).

Paying my dues, I'm just paying my dues. We all have to, regardless of industry. So instead of complaining about rehearsals or being irritated that the job I have is perhaps not exactly the job I want, I am just going to keep moving forward.

We all have a choice; focus on the negative or focus on the positive. It drives me a wee bit bonkers when people around me seem to spew forth complaints all day long, especially when they have work. I'm like, you're ALIVE aren't you? Your body works? Your voice works? You're doing what you love and you have people who you love who love you back? Be grateful, don't be gross. I might not say that to others all the times that I'd like, but I sure have to repeat it to myself sometimes.

So full speed ahead.

If only this head cold stuffy nose thing would call it quits!

The Things I Love About Teaching Science

Sometimes we say things like "people don't change." It drives scientists crazy, because change is the only constant in all of science. Energy, matter, these things are always changing. It's the way people try not to change that is unnatural - the way we cling to what things were, instead of letting them be what they are, the way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. Change is constant ... how we experience change is up to us.

Our bodies protect us from harm. We have life, and we must fight to live it. Fight to love it!

Firing on All Cylinders

I think I finally comprehend what that phrase means. I've been firing on all cylinders for nearly 40 days straight now, and I feel a cold coming on. This always seems to happen right when I've been pushing my body a wee bit too hard. My mom always says to listen to your body, because it's good at warning you when you need to slow down. If I don't heed the warnings, though, my body tends to force me to slow down. Hopefully it won't come to that this time around; I hear you, circadian rhythms and gathering storm clouds of leukocytes...

This Saturday is the light at the end of my tunnel.... a day off! I cannot wait and I am pretty certain I will spend the majority of the day and night comatose. Miles to go before I sleep and all that jazz. Lesson plans to write, students to teach, auditions to beast, alumni meetings to attend, and common colds to fight off.

Thankfully I have a two week break from the opera while a bagillion other productions go up at the Met, and the Turandot cast shifts. I'll miss Maria Guleghina (she ROCKED IT on her final performance at this past Saturday's matinee). Still... I hear our next Turandot is a Wagner soprano, which means a completely different voice color and interpretation of the role. Color me curious! The show resumes October 30th, and I may or may not be called into rehearsals before then. Hopefully my tutoring schedule calms down a bit!

Until Saturday, though, I'm gonna take the town and turn it upside down... Im gonna live live live until I die!

Love!

How cute are these little guys? They make me happy for all the wonderful people in my life. I think everyone has days when their life seems like it sucks. But then you go to dinner with some of the most awesome people in the world and remember why the sucky times are worth it... because the opposite is so warm and wonderful!

Everybody should have a shoulder to lean on and a friend to go to in their time of need, and there's no shame in it, no matter how strong a person is or wants to be.

Hyper Realism?

There is always a way. When things look like there's no way, there's a way. To do the impossible, to survive the unsurvivable. There's always a way. If you become frightened, instead, become inspired.



This is not a hyper realism painting, this is an actual star forming, courtesy of the Hubble satellite. How incredible and wonderful is it that the universe doles out things like this?

Because I love it so much

The opera is meant to be lavish. I cannot help but love the production of Turandot precisely because it is so incredibly over the top... I shouldn't be partial, but the spectacle of it all is such a stronger base for "character development" in comparison to last season's Don Giovanni. I'm sad that Franco Zeffirelli is no longer with us, because my goodness he had an eye for drama.

My favorite Act (this is the 2010 version so don't go looking for me :-) )

My favorite aria in this, my favorite act, is Liu's death scene at around 44 minutes in the above video.

Marina Poplavskaya (the principal singer in the video) and Hibla Gerzmava (the Liu in my cast) have similar nuances to their interpretations of this role, but I'm partial to Hibla's rendition because I've heard her live, and because she has this wonderful penchant for making notes float into the rafters with some of the most glorious, lilting clarity I've ever heard produced from a human.

Love,

A Broadway Baby